They say never meet your idols

 

They say never meet your idols. I have been so very lucky in my life to have great interactions with every time I have met my idols. That was until Firday July 10. 

I follow a KPOP dance instructor on Instagram and YouTube. I have followed him for a few years now and he came to Denver last year, but I missed it. When he posted he was coming to Denver this year, I immediately signed up. I was so excited. 

It was listed as an Open class - all dance levels. I want to say, that was not the case. Even though he said we could speak up, it didn't feel like us Newbies could because so many people had come to his previous class the year before. He was doing the dance for them and not those of us that were new. 

There had to be close to 50 people in the dance hall, it was CROWDED. I was at the back so I couldn't see him well and there were a lot of things playing against me.

1) I hate mirrors and having to look in a full length mirror and watching everyone else get the choreography while I was struggling was bad. 

2) Having had 2 tramatic brain injuries in my life - I never realized how badly they affected me. I knew with music I could not longer read music. I have to listen to it then I can play it. Well it affected my dancing as well. I never realized until Friday that the dances I recall with ease and can still do are all prior to the TBIs and that my ability to do foot work and hand work and remember it all was hugely affected to the point of almost non-existant. 

3) Denver was hot as FUCK - 90+ degrees - there were only ceiling fans running in the dance hall. They opened the big garage door to circulate air and that only allowed hot air in to make it more unbearable. 

I lasted to MAYBE 1/3 of the way through the class. I was sweating so badly and having a full blown panic attack that I literally had an asthma attack and had to leave the room. 

I spent the rest of the time watching as he did super fast dance moves and if you couldn't keep up too bad. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life and I was glad I didn't have to drive back up the mountain because I made it back to my hotel room and sobbed for 3 hours straight. 

I guess it was my time to have the never meet your idol moment. I was so disappointed that the class was taught to a more advanced level and not truly open. I doubt I will ever go to any KPOP dance class again, unless it truly says BEGINNER class.